Skip to main content

Dear Anaaira...

It's almost exactly 8 months today since the day you came home. And we had to wait almost exactly 9 months before we found you. That's two human gestation cycles to get the baby born in our hearts.

We're in the city of your birth again, and we signed the court order that's now made you ours forever and ever!

Your Naani says, and she's absolutely right (as usual), that we were all already yours, and today you've become ours too.

I love that the one sentence you speak clearly is where you very emphatically declare, "It's mine!" Once, you also said - "That's also mine!" And, my favourite, when I ask you whose Mama I am, you say "Maaa-INE!"

How do I tell you how much I love you, my baby? Today was such an anticlimactic day once the court order was signed. You've been exhausted and cranky all day, and we've all been the same, really! But, while you and Naani were sleeping, your Dada and I had another drink together, and all we talked about was our darling baby who's finally all ours! ❤

Now, as I lie in bed and type this, while you rotate round and round like the arms of a clock between Naani and I, kicking me on my nose in the process, what we did today is just sinking in. It's almost like I'd been holding my breath these last eight months, waiting to finish this paperwork. In my mind and heart, the paper isn't even required. You're mine, and I'm yours. We all are. But, to have this done and over with, feels so good and complete.

And that's what you've done by coming into our lives, my darling - you complete us, in ways you can't even imagine, ways I don't even have words to explain.

I love you,
Mama

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Six months

How do I even begin to write this post? I've now written and deleted the opening sentence eight times, and none of them seem to be saying what I want to say! Six months ago, as the day dawned on the 26th of March, at around 5:30 AM, I was getting ready to go to a hospital in Trivandrum, and then on to the airport to catch a flight to Delhi, and take our baby home. I'd been up most of the previous night, with a 14-month old with a congested chest who wheezed with discomfort if I tried to lay her down on the bed. So, I sat up against the headboard of the hotel bed, and hummed under my breath each time she moved. Earlier that night, we had been at the hospital to nebulise her. After almost 3 hours and 5 bouts of nebulisation, the doctors had brought out a form for us me to sign if we wanted to take her home against their advice of admitting her. She was active, playful, and naughty; the nebulisation had made her breathing much easier, and we'd started her off on oral ...
4 comments
Read more

Serendipitous

What a beautiful rainy day it is! The soft constant hush of the falling rain, the heady smell of geeli mitti (hate the sound of ' petrichor '!), and my baby sleeping next to me. Fulfillment came with such serendipity that it blew me away with its sudden whoosh -ness. This blog is to remember the wonderfully serendipitous things that are slowly slipping out of my mind, lulled as it is by happiness and peace.
3 comments
Read more

The home that we built

I lie in bed at night and read. I block out the news and the noisy world when I read. I also munch on something spicy or salty or sour when I read. I read fiction, mostly. He plays games on his phone. He watches news and interviews, and gets into long discussions on Facebook chains. If he gets hungry late at night, he eats a sandwich, sometimes with jam. He used to read, now doesn't. And that's one of my life's biggest aims -- to get him to start reading again! And, don't even get me started on mindless games on the phone! (Yes, fine, they aren't mindless, they need strategy and smarts, yada yada yada...) Our reactions to situations differ. I'm great in a crisis, he stresses out. I can be outwardly calm even under stress, he looks as frazzled as his mind feels. I'm judgemental, logical, impatient. He's great with people, both, at reading them and making them comfortable. He doesn't judge, and he has much, much more patience. He spends too ...
Post a Comment
Read more